November 9, 2018: A Moment of Dread
On November 9, 2018, I was about to click on the homepage button, a simple act that suddenly became a source of intense pain. Sharp, yet not excruciating, it radiated from both sides of my head, above the ears. I dreaded what I would see next—the image that haunted me. It was a photo of a Caucasian woman, surrounded by smiling African children, with an African man standing behind them, unsmiling. The woman’s happiness seemed misplaced, artificial, perhaps nothing more than a forced “say cheese” moment for the camera.
The Physical Toll of Witnessing Injustice
Working within the realms of the “Lords of Poverty” is not for the faint of heart. Each day, I find myself grappling with a barrage of unpleasant sensations. It starts with a strange feeling in my stomach, creeping its way up to my head. My heartbeat becomes more pronounced, a rhythmic pounding in my chest that leaves me feeling weak and on the brink of collapse. The emotional strain manifests physically, making me feel as if my body is betraying me. I feel an overwhelming urge to cry, as if the weight of the world is pressing down on my shoulders.
The Emotional Rollercoaster
This journey is an emotional rollercoaster. It’s like walking a tightrope, where one misstep can lead to an abyss of despair. Each image, each story, chips away at my soul. It’s a battle between hope and hopelessness, where the heartache is palpable. But amidst the tears and the pain, there’s a flicker of determination. I am not just a passive observer; I am a seeker of truth, ready to confront the harsh realities and amplify the voices of those who are often silenced.
The Unspoken Reality
The world needs to wake up and smell the coffee. The reality of international aid is not as rosy as it is often portrayed. The smiling faces and happy children are part of a carefully constructed narrative that hides the exploitation and dehumanization happening behind the scenes. We must peel back the layers and expose the truth, no matter how uncomfortable it might be.
